Mentors

I've been in the entertainment business for...well, forever, but never joined any of the professional groups that were available to me. Except SAG. I've never been a great group person. Probably because I used to be a little on the shy side. Some people labeled me as intimidating or aloof. But seriously, it was shyness. And my Dad. He always told me that if I wanted something done in this life I'd have to do it myself. So, there was no room for groups in my life. I was a lone soldier, prepared to fight my own war.

But, last year, I made a big decision. I decided to network. Something I had never done. Something I didn't want to do. Not that I'm completely anti-social. I've always done fine in meetings and even at parties. There were a lot of social events I attended when I worked at Cannon. Dinners for ten at fancy restaurants with executives like Terry Semel and Warren Lieberfarb - even one with Christopher Reeve. And intimate barbecues with the likes of Faye Dunaway. Yipee.

No, my problem has never been my social abilities. My problem has been maintaining relationships -- I have trouble keeping in touch with people if I have nothing besides, "Hey, what's up? Enjoying the weather?" -- and networking. Which to me, translated as getting to know someone because they can help me. In effect, using someone for my personal gain and on top of that, having to maintain the relationship. [Thanks again, Dad.]

As I said, early last year I decided to change all that and give the networking thing a shot. My first step was to join Women In Film (yikes, a group) and apply to their mentorship program. I'd never had, nor pursued having, a mentor. So, last November, I put in my application and got an interview with the head of the program -- the very awesome Linda Weitzler.

Finally, in early March I got word that I had a mentor. And a really good one, at that. I contacted my mentor with an introductory email and then we set up a meeting which took place on March 28. The meeting went really well. We liked each other. And it was left that the mentor would read one of my scripts (obviously the mentor could be of no help to me if my work sucked) and contact me in a couple of weeks with the news that we would either forge forward or I would be declined and need to find a new mentor - maybe one not quite so high up on the Hollywood food chain.

Time passed. Two weeks. Then a month. I sent a 'checking in' email with what I'd been up to in the past month. I got back a very sincere and apologetic email for not having read my script and that I would hear back soon. More time passed. Until finally it was decided that my wondeful mentor was too bogged down with other projects to be helpful to me at this time. My script was never read. But I still think this mentor was/is wonderful and we will be in contact again in the future.

The awesome Linda Weitzler found me another mentor she thought would be perfect. This one was the head of development at an animation company. Not necessarily my thing but this mentor had also worked with writers while in the studio system. I emailed my introduction on June 19. Then we had a long phone conversation and I sent two scripts (the mentor offered to read two scripts! - this one's going to be good). Again, I didn't hear from my mentor for over a month and sent a 'checking in' email. Finally, after a couple of reschedules we met for lunch on August 22.

We had a lovely lunch. The mentor had read both my scripts and was eager to help by setting up some meetings for me after Labor Day. Awesome. Our next contact was mid-September with notification that my mentor had left the animation company to start a company with a partner but wanted to continue with me and was happy to read my just finished thriller. Yay.

More time passed. I was busy working my career. I gave my mentor some space, fully understanding the commitment needed to start a new company. I went to Austin. Thankfully, by this time, I was much better at the dreaded networking. Because I had decided that I would only network with people I really liked and would want to hang out with -- life is too short to work with people you don't like. I also believe it is pointless to work on projects that I don't have passion for -- again, life's too short. Even with that stipulation, I came home from Austin with several new contacts/friends.

So, on November 1, I emailed my mentor with all my good news and a definitive list of the help I was seeking. Got an apologetic email in return with a re-commitment to being my mentor and a promise to be in touch the following week. Two weeks later, I sent an 'I really want you to be my mentor but maybe this isn't a good time for you and I should let you off the hook' email to which I am still awaiting a reply. As with my first mentor, I have no malice toward this mentor and look forward to staying in contact in the future. I really liked both of these people and I chalk the failure of our mentor-mentee relationships to bad timing.

In the meantime, I contacted the awesome Linda Weitzler and she agreed to keep me in this year's program -- yes, it's already this year's program. And I saw the awesome Linda Weitzler last night at the Women In Film holiday party. She told me there's been a change in the program this year. Now, the mentees need to supply her with a mentor wishlist including contact information. Then, she makes the calls, working down the list until she gets a 'yes' for the relationship to be set up. Wow. I get to have a say in my new mentor choice.

I want to email the awesome Linda Weitzler my 'dream mentor list' by Monday. Last year, I was looking for somehow who could aid inthe forward motion of my writing career. But this year, since I'm producing My First Kiss, I'm thinking I need someone who can offer guidance on the producing side as well. My movie will probably end up in the 2 to 4 million budget range. Definitely an independent, but not a lo/no budget movie that I'm going to shoot with my own HD camera and a credit card. (More on all that in future posts.)

So, who should I put on my 'dream mentor' list? I have my number one choice in mind, but the rest of the however many slots I decide to fill are open. I'm guessing no one is too big -- a couple of years ago somebody had Nancy Meyers -- but I also want to be realistic and get someone who's not so busy that, even though they want to make the commitment, they can't follow through.

Any suggestions?

Who would be your dream mentor?